Sunday, July 28, 2013
Re-arranged my bedroom today to the exact way I had it nearly two years ago when almost everything in my life was different than it is now. Even me. Especially me. I didn't even try to, and, to be honest, it really made me distressed when I first realized what I did. Now, sitting in my bed, there will be small moments while I sit here and edit photos, where I feel like I am 20 years old again. Like nothing has changed. No time as passed. But then, I rub my eyes, I see how much time has passed... and I wonder what I've done with it. It's not that I've done nothing. I've done many somethings. Many lovely somethings with lovely people. It's what I haven't done that lets me down the most. I'm tired of running myself in circles. My choices are making my life a culdesac, with memories and days on repeat, circling. I'm not going to go anywhere if I keep my steering wheel on the same continuous curve the rest of my life. Where have my dreams gone? Feeling low tonight.